Look, I’m a man of my word, and sometimes you make a bet that doesn’t pay off. I was so sure Adam Cole would stay with WWE and not sign with AEW that I foolishly decided to hedge my bets — if he didn’t re-sign with WWE, I’d write about why Heroes of Wrestling 1999 was good.
Well… here we are.
A critically panned wrestling show featuring stars in their mid-50s crawling around the ring, sorely missing their bedtime. Not exactly WrestleMania X-Seven — more like the X-Seven Gimmick Battle Royal, but longer, worse, and with matches. Still, we’re looking at the good stuff here, so… sweet Jesus, give me strength.
They’re Known Names
At least there was some nostalgia. The likely reason the event is so notorious is the sheer number of big names on the card — which is still better than a show full of unknown wrestlers having terrible matches.
Former major promotion world champions like Iron Sheik, Yokozuna, and Jimmy Snuka took part, while notable good workers such as Jim Neidhart, Greg Valentine, Bob Orton, Tully Blanchard, Stan Lane, and 2 Cold Scorpio were also involved.
In fact, the only name not to have wrestled on PPV beforehand was Julio Fantastico — which surely makes him not a true “Hero of Wrestling.”
Tully Blanchard vs. Stan Lane
Generally, watching Heroes of Wrestling 1999 is like watching a barn full of treasured memories being engulfed in flames — yet there was one competent match.
Two former workhorses collided as The Four Horsemen met The Midnight Express, with Tully Blanchard taking on Stan Lane.
Prior to the bout, Blanchard cut a brilliant, scathing promo in the parking lot (a rare occasion where he worked face). The match itself was solid — while not as fast as in their prime, it wasn’t noticeably slow. Moves looked clean and crisp from both the 45-year-old Blanchard and 46-year-old Lane.
The finish was even a callback to the territory days: Lane hit a German suplex and bridged for the cover, but with his own shoulders down. Blanchard sneakily raised one shoulder so Lane was actually the one pinned.
Variety Is the Spice of Life
One thing you can definitely say about the show is that it had variety. Whether you wanted to see high-flyers, grapplers, hardcore matches, tag bouts, or a man rubbing a snake as if it were his penis — it was all here.
On the athletic side, you had 2 Cold Scorpio hitting his always-impressive Tumbleweed — one that opponent Julio Fantastico had to sell despite being several feet away.
On the other end of the spectrum, Abdullah the Butcher and One Man Gang delivered a bloody, barbaric extreme rules bout. Chaotic and ending in a non-finish, it echoed the wild style of Bruiser Brody, Stan Hansen, and Terry Funk.
The Jake Roberts/Jim Neidhart Match That Didn’t Conclude
Jim Neidhart was probably thankful that King Kong Bundy and Yokozuna saved him from wrestling an inebriated Jake Roberts solo.
“The Snake” forced a fan to touch his chest, wandered during his entrance, and insinuated his pet Damien was his own “snake.” Clearly drunk — as shown earlier in the PPV by the infamous “Wanna Play 21?” promo — Roberts tried to work with Neidhart before the semi-main was quickly turned into a tag match.
Bundy teamed with Neidhart, while Yokozuna tagged with Roberts. It didn’t exactly turn into Hart/Austin, but it saved us from a few more painful minutes.
So Bad It’s Good Commentary
Think Sharknado — so bad it’s good. Captain Lou Albano, in full fast-talking chaos mode, was part of the commentary team before being announced as commissioner, leading to more rambling.
Originally, legendary announcer Gordon Solie was set to call the event, but throat cancer forced him to withdraw. In his place came Randy Rosenbloom — a man who seemingly knew little about wrestling.
He misidentified nationalities, miscalled moves, and famously called dropkicks “flying kicks,” “flying leg kicks,” and even “leg drops” — which is an entirely different move. While terrible, it’s become one of the show’s most memorable features, still laughed at for its sheer inaccuracy.
